it’s me again, ur local marupok na ate,, emz
this song describes how i felt when i kept forgiving him despite how many times he’s done me wrong. no, he didn’t cheat, or at least not that i’m aware of. he actually told me he deleted all his dating apps, quit seeing his fubus and kaladians for me. ew pakinggan, right? nagkaaminan kami just recently, actually he confessed nung march pa, pero i confessed na i liked him (mga february to march) this april lang. what was the problem? when he told me he liked me nung march (note: i liked him na by this time), a few days after that he told me na may niligawan pala siya pero di sila nagwork out. kaya ako non, medj broken cz i liked him nga diba? i still talk to him though just to get rid of the feelings. the feelings are almost gone na by the way!! idk about him though, nagpunta sha to a club last night. im pretty sure he’s over me na din pero we still talk casually.
one day this coming may, i’m ghosting him na. this is our song of the day:
haynako mga bhe,,, umiinom na naman sha
i think for this whole situationship, this would be the theme song. he’s always drinking, while i’m sober, or when i’m out drinking, he’s sober. never an in-between. says a lot about us as people and our situation, huh? i don’t really think i can take any more of this situationship. i don’t think i can take more of his bullshit. i’m tired of our no-label relationship. i’m tired of him. i’m tired of everything. i’m tired of myself.
pero anw, ito ang ating song of the day lezzgaw
yalllll ik i havent been here in a whileeee
but lemme tell youu!! i’ve moved on already from the guy i was crying about in my previous posts!! yaaayyy!!
i don’t think abt him as someone i’d look forward to anymore and i just think abt him now as some kind of a nuisance (he’s my orgmate,,, sooo)
so why did i choose this song?
it reminds me of when the times where i used to have so many crushes and i didn’t have to think about baseless situationships and commitment. it reminds me of better times.
and i feel that way right now!! i’m currently admiring a new guy, tho i don’t really think i’d make a move on him, let alone end up together, my friends say that he’s quite a gentleman. so that’s a plus!! since he’s already a cutie din naman. grads are coming up and we’ve been seeing each other lately for grad shoots and all!! i don’t really think i’d fall in deep for him because we don’t know each other that well and he’s waaaayy out of my league, but’s it’s cool tho.
so, yea!! see yaaa!!
listened to this song again :,)) remembered the guy from june-july 2021 aaaaaaa but i super love this song. i’m cool with him na tho, i finally got my closure and i don’t have any feelings for him anymore
hurray !!
it’s me again, after a while.
i broke it off with him.
now i know mac made this song about his father, but i, in some way, can relate this song to him.
i’m not even gonna lie, i still don’t feel anything, but i still haven’t cried. i got fed up being gaslighted, being ignored and treated as a convenience. i wouldn’t say being with him was exactly a pleasant experience, but there were times where we’d have a good laugh.
you know what, while writing this, i do feel my heart hurting. he knows too much, i trusted the wrong person again, i let myself be vulnerable to a person who does not give a single fuck about me.
i don’t know if i’m not hurting because i’m still in the denial stage, or because during the situationship i was already moving on, or because i’m still holding on to that little bit of hope that he would still fix things between us (but i doubt that would happen).
it does hurt a little bit, even if he didn’t care about what i did in each day.
it actually fucking hurts.
