Bro idk if im just going through my narcissistic phase rn but i feel like the Earth is listening to my brain and making things that i want, but didnt rlly believe will happen, actusllt happen. theres this thing that happens like everytime i think abt this thing it will always come to me. Only this particular thing tho unfortunately nothing like affluence or goodmarks. In yr7 i was thinking abt it and it came, yr8 it came, and 9 and 10 it came. But ive flunked every single one of them so this time ill actually try and not be a penis (≧∇≦) I cant specify what it is incase my phone gets invaded by a friend
I dont usually look at myself in an objective way. Like Im aware that I’m unattractive and societally ugly and im not saying this as some self pitying tease but honestly. I kind of just gave up ontrying to make myself look nice because ill always feel the same whether I put on some nice clothes or part my hair nicely. This has never bothered me. Everyday I put on the same clothes, brush my hair, my teeth, and go off. At some point ive just completely stopped looking at myself in the mirror. I have no mirrors in my makeshift bathroom and the body mirror in my room stays untouched, a bag hanger. Yet tmr it’s multicultural day and for the first time in a yr im looking at myself intentionally and with purpose that it’s truely struck me how ugly I actually am. A con to not observing urself continuously is fabricating urself in reality’s stead . URHR I hate how im feeling. Im tired goodnight. 🛌
When I C ppl with more than 10 PLAYLISTS on their spotify nd they have a long detailed extraction of some mundane activity which ppl romanticise, (Although they r unaware that they r publicly professing that they have no life beside their online identity(Me)) I instantly identify a kindred spirit and know that everything is FAKE! A Phoney! They don’t even listen to those playlists! Unless someone questions them on some emo underground 200lisyeners -4-a -reason artist In which they name a song that theyve only listened to 1once and decided to further analyse its true emotional meaning after chucking it into one of their emo playlists with 12hrs of music which they have not shuffled even 1nce at All.
I recognise these spirits, the ones who pertain to a false online image bc they r very much Notcool in their physical one. That they don’t actually enjoy the media they share(past avid online attention seeker) and r only satisfied when they find that drug of individuality they chase 4
UCollect 4 popular Japanese artists: ichicko aoba, Lamp, NASTYONA, and someone else, and they’ll all resemble abit of Kahimi
SIKE!
I wanted to say something controversial and completely untrue, but my spine -silk fingers moved on their own before the calloused leftie seized the smooth rightie
If u read books, this sounds like a theme song that would play whenevr Toru Olaf’s walks through the alleyway and meets up with his 16yo neighbour
Listening to Loveholic is such an orgasmic experience, Srsly my favourite band of all time. My favourites r: WNTIEETY of invisible things album, entirety of [RE:ALL] FLORIST (Esp 슈퍼스타), Entirety of Rewind (ESP! 바람아 멈추어다오 BARAMA MEOMCHUEODAO), Maria - Live version, Nd everything else theyve made 🫵
With that recent trend of clean girls, I am finally able to recognise that I am a DIRTY GIRL! My room is filth, my floor is covered in hair, dust, shit particles from rodents and most probably myself, I just watched an insect crawl into my bed covers but ive gone too far so only stood still as it moved slowly between the covers. I cant turn on my humidifier (if that even helps) bc theres an energy shortage and my skin is always itchy bc my bed is fucking nastu! I’m cleaning now, its kind of late and a Thursday morning. The insect is still somewhere in my bed but I’ll just deal with it for now. Good bye ill be a clean girl by Thursday afternoon.
