@lizdiana
@lizdiana
Mother’s Day has always invoked some hard, triggering feelings for me, for several reasons. tomorrow will be the first time I’ve spent this day with my mom literally since I was in high school. I’m really nervous & I hope I don’t shut down. we are rekindling our relationship after all, & I’m actively trying to heal from my trauma in therapy, but that will never just erase the abuse I suffered from her my entire life. I’m so incredibly nervous.
@lizdiana
happy Friday everyone !
@lizdiana
new Deftones goes SO fucking hard. I wish I wasn’t so hard to love
@lizdiana
We had a lil snow storm earlier this week & got a good few inches, and apparently it’s supposed to snow again tomorrow, right before my bday like I predicted lmao. That’s always the case, I’m hoping it doesn’t affect my family coming to visit on Sunday 🙃 it’s super pretty & all but goddamn has it been cold. I’m so excited for ts to be over. I love literally every other season EXCEPT for winter. Beautiful season but the snow, frigid weather & melancholy vibes are just not it for me whatsoever
@lizdiana
THE MJ MOVIE WAS AN EXPERIENCE!! man those Rotten Tomatoes critics can go to hell, I need part 2 immediately. I will say that me & my friends got really depressed realizing that that’s the closest we’ll ever get to seeing him in concert 💔💔💔 we lowkey might go see it again next week lmao (also I’m sad we didn’t get any pics of us all together but my one friend did post this lol)
@lizdiana
#bopgirliesspiritweek a song that I consider mine ❤️🩹 This duo literally helped me survive all of my high school years & this is one of their songs I relate to the most. I’m so glad they’re making a resurgence, even if I don’t like their newer stuff as much I will always be grateful for them for saving me <3
@lizdiana
I saw a TikTok where the poster was venting & mentioned those of us who hate winter bc of the childhood trauma we associate with it, so I’m also gonna vent for a sec bc this is a sensitive topic for me & I’m so glad someone brought awareness to it: ppl have been so quick to judge or tease me for hating snow, not bothering to even try to understand where I come from. some of us did not get the luxury of fun snow days off from school growing up. for some of us, a snow day meant abuse & mental anguish. winter meant anxiety, pain etc. bc we weren’t able to escape. I can’t help but associate it with negative emotions. it IS that deep. don’t even get me started on the holidays. do I want to heal? yes. am I valid for hating snow & winter as a whole bc of my ptsd & depressive episodes? also yes. this will be something that gets brought up in therapy eventually, but for now, I just want to have my beef with winter in peace. I’m tired of getting defensive bc ppl don’t want to empathize.
@lizdiana
I have a raging headache :(
@lizdiana
the first Mother’s Day with my mom in 8 years went well :)) we jammed out, caught up from the last couple months & did some painting that I’ll finish next time I’m at my sister’s. also we talked abt me coming out as nonbinary, she was super supportive!!! 🥹 also, one of my sister’s cats had to be put down yesterday. I cried my eyes out when she texted me the news last night, especially bc I never got to say goodbye, if only I could’ve today but it would’ve been inhumane to let him suffer a day longer than he was. she made a really nice grave for him (pictured) & he will be missed dearly. 🩶
@lizdiana
spent the last two days trying to recuperate from my work week (mostly Saturday) & prepare for another one but man I’m so burnt out from existence, especially when I’m stuck in a cycle that never changes
@lizdiana
It’s soo cold out and as much as I hate cold weather I love that it finally feels like October 🤩 me & my son went outside to chill and he helped our neighbors put up their decorations :) he was absolutely mindblown by the giant inflatables lmao Meanwhile I seriously need to find a new job for a lot of reasons, a big one being bc these mfs are so understaffed EVERY DAY ppl are constantly calling out or we simply don’t have enough scheduled. Tuesdays and Thursdays are my days off and my only days w my son but they tried to call me in earlier bc they had 3 callouts 😐 not to mention I certainly don’t make enough to be dealing with what I deal with and I definitely don’t make enough to be acting like a manager yet here I am. I hate to also screw them over but it’s no question why nobody wants to be there and I’d honestly burn the place down if I could. But barely anyone around here is acc hiring and the ones that are don’t pay even remotely a minimum wage so I’m stuck in a shitty place
@lizdiana
Every time I hear this song I think of my adorable silly grandma <333 this is her cell phone ringtone whenever someone calls her. And you can bet she always sings it when it plays instead of answering the call lol Really hoping I’m gonna be able to see her soon, apparently her health is declining and that scares me bc she’s been more of a mom to me than my actual mom was my entire life. Idk how I’ll ever process losing her. It’s so hard living in a different state than her & my dad :(
